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RT @chrisnoessel@twitter.com

The original poster locked their account, so I’ve blurred contact info. But holy crap it’s brilliant.

🐦🔗: twitter.com/chrisnoessel/statu

In the US? Beware of stimulus check scams: “If you receive a text, email or phone call from someone claiming to be from the govt w/a check for you — do not fall for it. Don't, under any circumstance, give away your personal info via text, email or phone.” nbcnews.com/tech/security/frau

we’re currently at “starts crying after hearing a single chord played on an acoustic guitar”

oof, just woke up from a pile of steaming dreams about my ex dating someone new and deeply unworthy. I remember actually redreaming the very toughest parts, which means they started out even worse than I can now remember.

gonna be a great first day "at" the new job...

Yes I am Buddhist, but the festival we now know as Easter was originally a Pagan spring festival celebrating growth and rebirth, and predates Christianity by longer than anyone really knows. After all, it’s not like eggs, flowers, rabbits, and other fertility symbols have anything at all to do with Jesus.

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i had a low fever last night and i slept 11 hours. shit.

but now i think it was my seasonal allergies. if i go to bed without a fever tonight, maybe i won't have to quarantine for 2 weeks!

Sie liebt an mir den schäbigen Charakter
Und ihre Grausamkeit ist mir so schön vertraut
Grün und blau wär ich, bekäm ich eine runter
Für jeden guten Freund, der mir nicht glaubt

a moment of silence for the thousands of us who have, at least once, posted something innocuous like "wow i really like the design of the animal crossing switch dock" and within minutes received a reply to the effect of "this gives me an idea for a forced hypno dronekink TF story", and then mere seconds later, a second reply containing the opening paragraph of, wouldn't you know it, a forced hypno dronekink TF story involving the design of the animal crossing switch dock

this scenario may seem incredibly specific but believe me it happens a lot

i look at the tree outside every day, so i'm seeing a time-lapse of buds emerging, and it's cool.

good: marco polo with friends
bad: friends telling me their dreams with no preamble or context
fucking terrible: interminable, triggering drunk-dials

some minor background difficulties upgrading to v3.1.3, my squeaky beans. hopefully you will continue not to notice any probulemmes

mask making selfie 

I made the most hilarious #corona mask!

for night owls in the States and Europeans stuck at home. Sweet Egg island is open, though Mabel is in the process of moving so it's only the crowding raccoon babies wearing only aprons with stuff to sell... obvs

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Spanner Works

Expats, those who have left their home towns, travelers and freaks are especially welcome.