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I love you so
you show me things I want to know
you help me make my way round town
and every week I burn you down

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spider plant, spider plant

does whatever a spider can't

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starting to realize that when I run out of spoons, it's often because I am inadvertently running a fucking Spoon Library, with 80% of the stock checked out to others at any given moment... and no overdue fees.

it's nice here where people are obsessed with "feature length" and not with "can journalists call something racist". I will be staying here until I am dragged away by people stronger than myself

datn ✅ boosted

heute erfahren, und unglaublich cool:
Menschen mit niedrigem oder ohne Einkommen können sich beim Checkpoint in Berlin Neukölln *kostenlos* PrEP verschreiben lassen, um sich gehen eine HIV-Neuinfektion zu schützen.
(Normalerweise kostet PrEP in 🇩🇪 60€/Monat)

datn ✅ boosted

doctor says to guy, "go visit Pagliacci, a famous proctologist in our town." and this guy says, "butt doctor,

datn ✅ boosted
datn ✅ boosted
datn ✅ boosted

if another film nerd asks me if i've seen lucas in love ever again im going to perform the entirety of the cgi alien jabba palace singing performance thing

datn ✅ boosted

Since it came up in an earlier tweet, "all y'all" is perfectly grammatically sensible. If you are in a group of seven people, "Y'all are idiots" might mean just three or four of them. "All y'all are idiots" means all seven. #TheMoreYouKnow #TennesseeEdition

datn ✅ boosted

Hey now, you're a big shot, you think you're so big
Well I'm Ozymandias and look what *I* did

All that's left there is sand
Only shooting stars light the land

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Somebody once told me
There's a statue in the Gobi
That's mostly gone from over the knees
Visage lying in the sand
With a sneer of cold command
Cuz the sculptor knew how to please

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Empires falling and statues crumbling
Check out the words he left behind
On the statue in the desert that nobody can find:

22-year-olds wearing shirts with the Unknown Pleasures album cover and no accompanying text plague me



datn ✅ boosted

I’m putting this hole punch that punches cow-shaped holes on the giveaway table in my apartment building’s lobby and I thought I should really market it right

datn ✅ boosted

Sure would be cool if Planned Parenthood of Delaware would stop inviting me to cocktail parties, please just use the money I give you for abortions

want to see something disturbing and neat? also listen in to my head soundtrack today?

datn ✅ boosted

if I were aunt beru I would simply serve the stormtroopers some delicious blue milk and not resist because I have nothing to hide

i'm growing Betsy in a bag, but she don't mind

as long as things are round

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Expats, those who have left their home towns, travelers and freaks are especially welcome.